We are wild, we are like Young Volcanoes.

I haven't been wearing my FLOATATION DEVICES for awhile already. Floatation device... How I missed being nicknamed that. Haha...

How's life people? Been doing good? Keeping yourselves busy I supposed? :)

I am kind of.. weird and maybe at times a lil bit stubborn. I miss my friends but I don't wish to disturb them. Well just saying random things about myself. (Lol blogging about such things and talking to my mum at the same time, she's like tajtkajejjtjr yakking all over and there's me typing with my wide eyes staring straight at my pc.)

Sometimes I feel really guilty towards Mum. She's been a pillar of support to me all this time, and even though she screams at me like all other mums do too, it's still incorrigible of me showing the sucky attitude and tone towards her.  I feel so guilty that it makes me tear. 

She's been my laughing partner, my best friend and someone who I can confide to whenever I feel the need to find a pair of listening ears. She's been a great mother. At times I'll question myself, "Have I really been appreciative towards her?" I.. don't think so. :(

18 and 19 had been the best times of my life so far. I would totally miss those days and moments. It makes me ponder so many things that I could say it'd been another turning point of my life. I'm sure I made some mistakes and I'm still learning how to cope well with issues about myself. Don't get me wrong, this is not any of those personal attacks post.

I still can't bring myself to muster the courage to face people yet. I need a lot more time to think through what I really want. I've been doing good. Talk about money, I have been really careful with the amount I spend, though I'm still trying to get used to it. I used to spend a lot on "enjoying life", but I've to say those were the really happy times I've ever had. #No regrets.

As mentioned earlier in one of my previous posts, I talked about the third job interview which had made me gone through a "harsh dressing down" from my Mum. It's been a while she talked to me in a serious manner.

She often asks me why do I look so unhappy. Ha and I'm sorry for those who had to put up with my ice-queen-attitude all the time, be it in school or wherever. I promise... I will try to SMILE more often in future. :)

Actually.. my life isn't that bad at all. So what if I've issues about myself? So what if I've to deal with a hearing problem? I believe all of these would just be of temporary. I will survive huh.

She's worried about me. Actually I've been doing fine. I just want to spend some time alone with myself and reflect on certain things. I will be all right...

And yes, I'm still wandering about in life. Thinking of what to do in future. I haven't truly found my sense of belonging yet.

Kinda fucked up with my life changing decisions. And it's not like I don't wish to discuss with anyone else about this. But how? I don't expect myself to ring up friends and be all like, "Hey sup can you tell me what to do in my life? Should I continue with this or should I start anew?" It's pretty.. funny, isn't it? I know once I set my mind to do it and I know what's right for me, I believe I'll make it.

Sometimes even my Mum can't understand what's going through my head.