Confusion

So this post is gonna be about me being confused and stuck in the middle of nowhere; pretty much you can say, no sense of direction.

I'm lost. Completely lost. It's like everyone else that's my age currently, we are all graduating soon but I know I belong to the category where there is no goal in life, yet.

But I gotta make a decision fast before the university applications close. This is really tough. So I've been questioned,

"What's your hobby?"

My answer was, "I've none."

"Impossible. What's the thing you like to do when you get home?"

"I..."

So I was told to go and think through really hard. And I still haven't got an answer for myself.

But, you think I really want to go for a private college? Please, no one wants to. Nobody ever wanted to. Who doesn't want a recognized degree from a good university? Okay can. So I'd bet this CNY is gonna be another frustration dealing with all those questions.

Study VS Work first ?

Which one should I pick?

If I choose work it would mean that I'll go for a year break. But it's gonna be so lonely. Speaking about lonely, it's okay, guess I've also come to the time that I'd have to learn to enjoy solitude. And also learn to start from scratch all over again. To begin all of these seems pretty tough. Since I'd bet I've communication issues with people. Just simply down. All I ever wanted was to be independent. But it's depressing the ultimate result was actually a waste of time. Barely easy for me to even "understand" basic instructions.

Yeah. It's so gonna be like that if I let history repeats itself again wherever I go, whatever I do. I've been trying to learn through communication. (Is it a right way to say?) Sigh. Nevermind.

I feel really exhausted at times.

It's tiring reading people's mindset.

It's tiring to over-analyze every single possible situation.

It's tiring when things still remain unresolved.

It's tiring to even sit down and think.

It's tiring to settle so many issues.

It's exhausting...


I wish somebody could lend a helping hand.. But.. Maybe it's better to learn to count on myself.

I really wish time could stay still.

I just want to be happy again.

Labels: #itsFeb2013 #behappy